Why do I feel Weird and Vacant?
This is a basic over-view of emotional and mental reactions Hep C patients might experience, while on treatment. . For explanation of medical causes, and for further information, please follow links given at end of article.
I’m calling it the weird experience because during treatment, general perception of day to day reality can feel very surreal.
I use the word “weird” as an anacronym and in a lightly humorous way. This is about getting past concerns of there being something “wrong” with us when we experience these emotional reactions on treatment. So, with a little gentle laughter and relief from fear: weird stands for
Withdrawn, Emotive; Irritable; Reactive; Depressed. ......
Ok; sounds pretty unpleasant?! These sides vary, amongst different patients, from minimal and transitory – to more extreme. In general, for sure, treatment is no picnic. Even if you do remain fairly level most of the time ...... there are likely to be moments....
My own take is that treatment is a commitment, and can be tough: but worth it with the end goal in sight. Clearing the virus.
. Having a clear and realistic sense of what treatment entails is one of the best foundations for managing it well and successful outcome. Some people do find the mental effects worse than some of the physical side effects. But, with the right medical and social support, they are manageable and it is doable. So here are some of the more common experiences;
Withdrawn. Fatigue, discomfort and irritability may make you tend to absent or isolate yourself. . Some retreat may be part of the process of diverting energy into fighting the virus. Too much disconnect, though, will exacerbate depression. Try to step out of the bubble and interact, even briefly, as regularly as possible, without becoming exhausted.
Emotive. Emotions and perceptions may become heightened. For example; anxiety; feeling weepy; sudden and intense changes of mood or odd thoughts, paranoia. etc. . without always knowing what is the trigger. Keep an eye on your sleeping patterns. Insomnia can make this more severe.
Irritability. Pretty common: from irritation at things that wouldn’t normally bother you, to full-blown fury .(Often referred to as “Riba Rage”, named for the Ribaviran.) -Hopefully, friends and family will understand some edginess and and ride out even the occasional more extreme reactions. It may be reasonably containable: but , if it reaches the level of aggression, or potential abuse; get help. . (see quote by “Ross” and others, below in Part Two.)
Reactive.
Your thoughts and your interactions with others – can be magnified –at times you may be hyper-sensitive: a minor concern, suddenly becomes a compelling fixation or a slight disappointment suddenly is hugely unfair .... and others seem insensitive to not understand your feelings, but later, it may seem no big deal. Some people get a bit paranoid or generally anxious. . Try to remember it’s not you, it’s not real .... it;s the meds. Used post-its, stuck around the house, as reminders of this.
Depression. there are complex physiological and emotional processes involved. Symptoms can include: *a low, heavy, miserable feeling *general loss of pleasure in things that used to be enjoyable – often including sexuality and intimacy. * reduced concentration. * hopeless and bleak thoughts. . Some of these reactions are natural responses to chonic illness. But a lot of it may be chemically induced by the treatment meds you’re taking. Remind yourself what the fight is for – to eradicate the virus and regain your health, natural enthusiasm and quality of life. Please follow and read links on managing depression.
PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP IF DEPRESSION REACHES POINT OF THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE OR SELF-HARM . THERE IS A WAY THROUGH. ALSO, SEEK SUPPORT IF OTHER FEELINGS, EG ANGER, OR ANXIETY BEGIN TO BE OVERWHELMING - TALK TO HEALTH CARE PROVIDER & FRIENDS / FAMILY. CONSIDER ALSO THE ROLE OF ANTI-DEPRESSANTS IN MANAGING TREATMENT. SEE LINKS BELOW FOR HELPFUL INFO
General notes on emotional well-being and understanding / treating depression. http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/mental_emotional_health.htm
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/making_sense_of_antidepressants
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bacpcharity.html
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/medical_and_alternative_care/making_sense_of_counselling
http://www.sane.org.uk/SANEline
(telephone helpline for mental health issues)
The following links access information on emotional and mental health specifically related to Hepatitis C and Hep C treatment.
http://www.hcvadvocate.org/hepatitis/factsheets_pdf/MH%20depression%20overview.pdf
http://www.hepatitis-central.com/mt/archives/2009/01/why_depression.html
http://nchsr.arts.unsw.edu.au/media/File/HepCtreatment.pdf
http://www.hepctrust.org.uk/news/2010/January/Management+of+Depression+During+Hepatitis+C+Treatment+with+Interfero+-based+Therapy
http://www.hcvadvocate.org/hepatitis/factsheets_pdf/Treatment_Side_effect_Guide.pdf
(see section 8 – mental and psychiatric symptoms)
IN A SEPARATE POST, PART TWO OF THIS ARTICLE DESCRIBES SOME PATIENTS PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND DISCUSSES OUTCOMES OF TREATMENT CHOICES AND COMMITMENT
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