not sleeping

Awake in the night



I move through shadows, disorientation and tunnel vision in the night

The refrain I chant to reassure myself reminds me there will be light

But I am like a sleep walker, stumbling in the dark and shattered

By fragmented, ugly dreams; my mind is splintered, my life is battered

no sense of direction; tunnel vision and I am blind-sided, in the fog

my companion of the lonely hours; is depression, we call it the black dog

I know that sleep has deserted me: there will be no relief for the long test

Of courage and endurance when the jangled thoughts will not be laid to rest



The enemy has invaded the encampment, my only place of safety and retreat

The dragon slayers fear within is the longing to collapse, exhausted, in defeat

The virus that invades our bodies, our blood, our lives is the factor that is known

It’s what’s hidden in the shadows of the void that scares us when we feel most alone



It’s no dream, though often it seems sinister, unreal – it is my dark passage of the soul

I push aside the fear that there is no real recovery, believe I can be well and whole

It is my life, my health, my strength, my reality I am fighting to heal and to reclaim

They promise me there will be new beginnings when the dragon has been slain



In the dragon slayers journey through a harsh and frightening, lonely land

It is the battle in the mind that is the greatest challenge: and to believe and understand

That so much of the distortion that envelops us is not reality, but the chemistry of illusion

I move through shadows and the shadows move through me, fill me with confusion



I can’t define what is faith, strength, patience but these qualities we envoke each day

We take each heavy but determined step, trust our hearts and intuition will find the way

The strength of purpose that we discover and the human instinct to live and thrive

Is the greatest treasure we discover and keeps our visions and our vibrant spirits alive



Hold a promise in your heart; your guiding star in your mind’s eye; hope will banish fear

There is power in your vision and your determination; know that the clouds will clear

Nourish your dreams, they are like stepping stones, a pathway: hold your steady pace

The journey happening inside your soul is to a renewed and healing inner space.

(by eva day)

wishing you healing, peace of mind and sweet dreams. xx eva