Charged Up on Treatment - anacronym poem

C - Confused, as I have brain fog which makes me loose the plot
I stop mid-sentence and forget what I was saying, quite a lot
watch tv for ten minutes and its just strange words in a jumble
or ask a question and no-one understands because I just space out and mumble

H -Hostile: I used to be quiet friendly, now I find people quite annoying:
I get so little pleasure from anything- but have to watch them enjoying!
And when they just WON’T understand that I am bloody sick and tired;
Or they talk crap about Hep C and everything: & it gets me really wired

A - Anxious. feeling jittery and on edge as if I couldn't do another day
can’t say exactly what ‘s the worry; but feel like normal life is slipping fast away :
let go of control, just rest, recover, is advice I’m often given; very wise -
but struggling daily with every simple task, my tension, then, is no surprise

R - Raging. There are buttons to be pushed in me: and those damned fools,
press them all! and expect me to be reasonable, according to the social rules
I feel like there’s a constant stone inside my shoe - and my mind is full of grit
I can hold back, I guess, but there’s a couple of bastards I’d quite like to hit!

G - Grumpy; and it’s no joke: like one of the seven dwarfs, the one who’s cross
My sense of humour’s gone, and patience, along with every other bloody loss
You think I’m edgy, snappy, moody, quite difficult to be around
so would you be, if you were itchy: my head hurts with every sound

E - Emotional. I’ve done the classic laughing / crying mood swing
And felt ten times more intense in response to every little thing
I’m tearful, weepy, sobbing pitifully at a sad film on the telly
Or I’m full of resentment and insecurity, a weight inside my belly

D - Depressed. I know I’ve got to take care of myself, and set small goals
But sometimes think what is the point? often falling into those black holes
I can’t remember when I last had fun, or felt that warmth and glow
Just doing simple tasks, step by step, one day at a time is all i know

U - Unhinged : no boundaries. forget normal social codes, conventions
I get intense. no filters, trying to explain things: messily - but with good intentions.
& such odd thoughts which are disjointed, bizarre and quite demented
resurrecting ghosts I thought had gone : but brooding on past hurts I resented.

P - Paranoid. Uncomfortable, awkward, everywhere I go, as if I don’t belong
Yet socially I used to be so confident , gregarious, bubbly and strong
Now I hear hidden spitefulness in simple statements or an off the cuff remark
Which takes me to suspicion, over analysing, and to places in me very dark.



So there we are then - anything for a bit of a laugh eh!? :wink: :lol: a bit of dark humour I s'pose; so where's the coping strategies for people going loopy on tx?!! I will come back later and post solutions - also rhyme/ anacronym - and inspiration.
(errm, by the way, in case anyone's worried: I have exagerrated a couple of things, and borrowed from other people;s experience; for the purpose of rhyming and artistic license: so it's ok ...... I don't need talking down right now!)