after treatment finishes..... ????

FOR END OF TREATMENT. BECAUSE WHEN TREATMENT IS FINISHED, FOR A WHILE IT CAN FEEL LIKE IT'S OVER...... BUT NOT. SO FOR ALL IN THAT PLACE. AND FOR ALL HEP C PATIENTS, INCLUDING THOSE WHO DO NOT OR CANNOT TREAT. AS WE ALL HAVE MANY EXPERIENCE IN COMMON. WE ARE SHARING THE DIFFERENT REALITIES WITH HONESTY AND COURAGE.



I have my horizon eyes on, ready to look ahead, to future dreams

what do I see? what awaits? hopeful yet cloudy, confused is how it seems

hard to have vision through mist or fog. brain fog. I never heard the phrase

before hep c. i think i remember a simplicity in daily life. those were the days.

times of a lost innocence; though I thought i knew so well, life's darker faces

Hep C is an intense experience which takes us to different and such surreal places



If I cannot see clearly, with strategy, plans and clear signposts to a joyful new start,

i choose to peacefully be in the present and listen to gentle guidance from the heart.

yes, it is also hard to hear clearly, both vision and instinct are obscured and uncertain

I feel as if I observe the ordinary world from a bubble or from behind an invisible curtain



where was the hoped for sense of freedom, relief, when hcv treatment had ended?

and some sense of being on solid ground with familar landscapes, on which I'd depended?

instead I found myself lost in a limbo land and feeling sore, tired, flat, empty and weary

not feeling excited, ready to set goals, as I had no reserves and everything seemed dreary.



But this too made me feel bad, I thought I was wrong or being negative, bleak not good enough.

and I talked with others who'd felt that too, more struggle after a treatment so horribly tough

we found some relief in shared insights that beyond the great battle, we meet a new fight

the people in our world may think, we are done with the meds, all is over and we are alright



and maybe, being full enveloped for so long in struggle, pain and mental and emotional distress

we forget to ease up on ourselves, allow a time of just being and not fear that it's all such a mess

I think i'm screwed up long-term by it all, and may not get me back we whisper to a good friend

yes, I have had so much courage, and patience and hope, day by long day to the finishing line

I am hurting and scared, need to feel still supported, and long to feel once again my spirit shine



and if perhaps one other person can hear this, that will help keep us hopeful, safe and steady

we may let go of too many goals and expectations and let recovery unfold, as we are ready

but the person who most needs to hear and accept is myself, knowing with in that i will just feel

a sense of reclaiming myself and my life, with renewed strength and inspiration, as I gradually heal



I send wishes to others that you be kind to yourself and hold in you heart thoughts of new flow

as the next stage of the journey unfolds, you will navigate and find your way through and grow

perhaps we are wounded: fear is there, for us all yet we may draw from it a treasure quite freeing

strength, compassion, sharing, and possibilities for new beginnings and authentic ways of being.



whatever your story, where you are in your journey, your challenges, hopes, dreams and prayers

I send you blessings, and much love, light and laughter, and thank you for being someone who cares.



with much love from eva day to all at the different stages of the Hep Journey and most especially to my wonderful friends who made each day a lot more doable. wishing a good road ahead to all. xx eva day